Sometimes . . . Shit gets real.

"If Only I Had Full Control of My Feelings and Faculties"
A stupid girl and as stupid boy made a stupid mistake
And like all stupid things, it grew, it evolved
And like always, the stupid boy let his stupid feelings take root
Stupid, stupid, stupid, dumb
For he is only a boy, only a human

"So There's This One Girl"
I don't know . . . I guess it was my fault.
I shouldn't have let her see my cock.
I should have said "No".
I should have known my own limitations or at least considered them.
I didn't.
Now, I'm in a shit place. Again.
I don't know if it's budding Love or the desire to find out, but I do know shit isn't okay.
And that's on me.
I shouldn't be so easily tolerant.
I shouldn't care so much.
But here we are again, kicking myself.
Because no matter what I do to deny, to pretend otherwise.
I am falling, following my cock. Following my stupid, stupid heart into trouble.
She isn't Megan. She isn't Megan.
I know that. But I know there are many ways for a heart to be broken.

"Estupido"
"It's so big"
That little compliment and the allowance of my cock and the want of my company . . . was all it took.
Brian
James
Robinson
You are an idiot.

"The Wealthiest Hoarder of Apathy"
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a good god damn.
Fuck it.
Fuck this.
Fuck him.
Fuck her.
Fuck this game.
I do not have to play.
I am not a pawn. A mere cock.
A good friend.
F.U.C.K. I.T.

"Empathy, Rescind!"
Like a cover or a cloak, sheathe me no more.
I am throwing you to the winds.
Uncloy my heart with fragility and naivete.
Fuck it all and let me be numb and insensitive.