Old Poems

Sep 13, 2010

"She's Out of My Life"

I feel like she is rushing.
Like she's so happy to be rid of me.
Like she's on to the next one and I am just a statistic.
I don't know if my pride will hold. I want to beg her to take me back. Beg like a dog, like a pathetic cat out in the rain.
I need her. Like more than I thought I could another person.
Like I am a fish that has been snatched out of the ocean . . .

"Not In the Figurative"
Literally, my heart hurts. 
I don't feel like someone ripped it out as it's often described, but like there is a void, a fucking hole where it should be. 
I don't want her to hold another man. 
The idea of another man In her arms, of her looking at them with those eyes . . . 
FUCK! 
I hate this. 
I really do. 
I want to hate her so desperately for thinking this is best, but I can't.
I would never wish this on anyone. 
Ever. 
I don't know how I am supposed to live without her. 
And this only day one.

Aug 5, 2010

"Unnamed"
She said that she doesn't doubt that I love her.
No, she said she knows for certain that I love her, completely.
What she fears is that one day I will find someone that I love more.
How baffling is that?
I don't see it happening, but she does.
Like she doesn't think I love her enough or something.
Like I am withholding something from her.
I'm not afraid of commitment.
I'm not super-forward-thinking, but I don't freak out when I think of her as mine; as my life, as my wife.
I know that that isn't for like years, but it doesn't upset me.
Maybe I am just strange.
What does freak me out, is the idea that she doesn't think I love her enough; that I don't show her all the passion and love that I know how.
That I am lax,
Or
Actively seeking or open to someone coming to supplant her.

Jul 22, 2010

"Gravity"
I am playing with fire.
Leaping without looking.
Running with scissors.
Sticking a fork in an electrical outlet.
And I've not been happier. Ever.
When I'm with her, I feel like I can move mountains. Most of the time.
When I'm not, I want to make grand moves to make to her smile.
Sometimes, I think Fate just decided to intervene.
Like it knew that I just was dying, literally, to give away the affection and love that has been building up like a river against a stocked dam.
Like I was a satellite orbiting Earth in the upper reaches, waiting to finally be pulled down by inertia.

"Unnamed"
Sometimes they are emeralds,
Burning with fierce anger.
Sometimes they are sapphires,
Burning with strong determination.
Sometimes they are opals,
Lost with a deep adoration for me.
Sometimes they are a full spectrum,
Telling me that I am the light of her world, that I am hers, alone; that I am good.