28.8.11
I wonder
If I am a decent guy, is it possible to find a woman who is not a complete cunt? Who will treat me as I treat her? Because at the moment, that seems nil to impossible.
Lesson learned
If it looks like a bad idea, feels like heaven, moves heaven and earth, makes you want more than you should, destroys your confidence in yourself, makes you put all your eggs in one basket, forces you to ignore friends, pushes your buttons for no fucking reason, constantly nags, fucks like a porn star, swallows the whole of your cock until tears are in her eyes, cries to you, plots out a future with you that includes marriage and children, drinks with you, is jealous of your friends, hates your mother, is judgmental, is temperamental, loves you, hates you, disrespects your ambition . . . more than likely, it will be a colossal waste of your time. That's what I have learned. Two words: fuck you.
The last year and a half of my life, I feel like I have wasted completely. Nothing was gained from the experience other than the complete ostracization from my family, my friends, and my own pride, for no other reason than to please someone completely insatiable. To take so much emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially from me was easy for you. I, on the other hand, am left holding a wet fucking sack, picking up the bullshit pieces of the relationships I damn near burned away for a vicious, callous woman. Your career matters more to you. Your ambition matters more to you. And I, well, as far as I can see, was simply muscle, a warm body, and a hard cock for you. Nothing has changed, and yet, everything has.
Within a month or two, someone else will be between your thighs and I can only hope they displease you, that they hurt you. I do not, cannot, and will not wish you the best. I, fully and happily, renounce all love I ever had for you. You are an idiot to sacrifice what we had for nothing more than a few doubts . . . Don't misunderstand me. Your doubts are valid, but the inability to believe in me, is (I hope and pray) going to be the worse mistake of your life. I hope every fucker you meet is a douchebag, cheats on you, hurts you, lies to you, takes you for all you're worth. I want you to cry, to sob, to be broken.
Am I bitter? Fuck yeah. I do not like giving so much without reciprocation. It was never about us for you, only I-I-I; me-me-me. Never we. And that is disgusting. I want karma to fuck you over. I want nothing to go right. I want you to beg for me back. I want to smile and tell you to go fuck yourself.
I will be playing "Take This to Your Grave" for a long while, concerning you.
The last year and a half of my life, I feel like I have wasted completely. Nothing was gained from the experience other than the complete ostracization from my family, my friends, and my own pride, for no other reason than to please someone completely insatiable. To take so much emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially from me was easy for you. I, on the other hand, am left holding a wet fucking sack, picking up the bullshit pieces of the relationships I damn near burned away for a vicious, callous woman. Your career matters more to you. Your ambition matters more to you. And I, well, as far as I can see, was simply muscle, a warm body, and a hard cock for you. Nothing has changed, and yet, everything has.
Within a month or two, someone else will be between your thighs and I can only hope they displease you, that they hurt you. I do not, cannot, and will not wish you the best. I, fully and happily, renounce all love I ever had for you. You are an idiot to sacrifice what we had for nothing more than a few doubts . . . Don't misunderstand me. Your doubts are valid, but the inability to believe in me, is (I hope and pray) going to be the worse mistake of your life. I hope every fucker you meet is a douchebag, cheats on you, hurts you, lies to you, takes you for all you're worth. I want you to cry, to sob, to be broken.
Am I bitter? Fuck yeah. I do not like giving so much without reciprocation. It was never about us for you, only I-I-I; me-me-me. Never we. And that is disgusting. I want karma to fuck you over. I want nothing to go right. I want you to beg for me back. I want to smile and tell you to go fuck yourself.
I will be playing "Take This to Your Grave" for a long while, concerning you.
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